Somehow I have found myself in customer service hell. It seems like all of my orders are getting screwed up and every customer support rep has been beyond useless.

Most of it has to do with AT&T. I upgraded my service which is supposed to include HBO. Nope, “my services” on their portal is just broken, it’s been that way for days. If I am asked if I have cleared my cookies one more time I’m going to flip. Their troubleshooting skills are nil. And after you wait 5 minutes between each canned response, to total a 30 minute chat they tell you they can’t do anything more. Oh, that’s it huh? So my computer is a problem or there is no problem? Okay.

I managed to get one of them to open a support ticket for me. A few days later someone called… She said they don’t make the app so there’s nothing they can do. I told her it happens on the website and she… you guessed it: asked if I cleared my cache. Nope, never thought to do that! She asked what browsers I used (Chrome and Safari) and she asked me to use Edge. BRO. I told her they are the same thing now and she started saying well… BRO. I know they are slightly different, very slightly, I have been a developer for 15 years. So I hung up.

I got an email saying my issue was resolved and the ticket was closed. Nope. Still doesn’t work. I chat with support again, and they send me to their manager. The manager won’t re-open it either. I tell her well I’m not paying my bill until you fix this, so you can either re-open it or not, but you aren’t going to get paid. Nope, she refused. Okay then.

I’m disputing all charges with Visa. This should serve as a reminder you don’t need to take some shit companies shit. Have fun with Visa bro. It’s pretty clear cut when you fail to provide services. So no HBO for me, but no cellphone bill either. I’ll take it.

My vape recently broke, it takes these little reusable pods, so I ordered a replacement from a place I’ve used before. Got here quick, cool. Open it and… wrong item. It took them a day to respond. Nice. They ask for a photo of the wrong product next to the invoice, like that proves anything, ha. So I do and they want me to print a label they are going to email me. NOOOO. Dude. YOU messed up, why I am going to print a label and bring it to you? I don’t even have a printer – it’s 2021. They agreed to “make an exception” and mail me one, but it will “prolong” the whole ordeal. An exception? So sorry to inconvenience you, after you made a mistake. I didn’t mean to make your life to difficult. Nah, I’ll mail it back, but I reordered it from another place.

I had some fun with Cox, too. When I upgraded my speeds, it got slower? Okay. Support asked me all the typical stupid questions and I was getting tired of it. My router costs more than their car, it’s not my end. But did you reboot, they asked. No! No I didn’t. I just turned my PC on to test it and my phone showed the same results. Did they care? No. “Well can you reboot it?” No. I usually just lie and play along, but after dealing with these other clowns I wasn’t having it. “Sorry, we can’t help you then.” Oh, so that’s it? Yup, they ended the chat. Two thumbs up.

I don’t know what’s with this whole idea that their service is perfect and it’s always the customer’s fault. It’s a bit disingenuous. I know it filters out a lot of noise, but I’m not a 95 year old, I’ve used a computer before. And I don’t know why service has to always come at the expense of the customer. I’m not driving to UPS to fix your screw up, or Fedex to print a label. Open a ticket for your broken service and send me prepaid box, or I won’t pay. Bullshit should at least be free.